Just sayin

[Dave Grubb]

• I took my suit to the cleaners, who wanted to charge me $40, so I gave it to the charity shop next door. They cleaned and pressed it and put it in the window. I bought it back for $15.


· My wife and I decided to never go to bed angry. We've been awake since Tuesday.

· My wife said: "That's the 4th time you've gone back for dessert! Doesn't it embarrass you?" I said: "No, I keep telling them it's for you."

· She said she missed me. Normally that would be good but she's reloading.

· When I was in elementary school we learned about a shape called a rhombus and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape.

· My wife and I started role-playing in the bedroom. Her favorite is The Sexy Librarian where I have to sit quietly while she reads a book.

· Being old is when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go too.

· I now know how it will all end for me, one of my kids will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

· At a wedding reception, someone yelled: "All married people please stand next to the one person that has made your life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed to death.

· I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised because I thought she was home with the kids.

· I want someone I can share my entire life with who will leave me alone most of the time.

· Yesterday I bought a world map, gave my wife a dart, and said, "Throw this and wherever it lands, I will take you on vacation." We're spending 3 weeks behind the fridge.

· As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.

[UTAH]

"We're spending 3 weeks behind the fridge."
- Dave

Maybe she trained my wife. She can be sitting right next to me and must hand me an object or else it lands at her feet. She missed the "throwing things" line in Pre-Existence (local theology).

Hunter

[Truckman]

She can be sitting right next to me and must hand me an object or else it lands at her feet. She missed the "throwing things" line in Pre-Existence (local theology).

Hunter

If you ever became inclined to try your naughty side out and misbehave, her poor aim might be beneficial......Ben

[UTAH]

That'll be next wife. Wifey always qualified when she shot (as did I).

Hunter